Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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