My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I wear drunk well.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
