So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
