At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She told me I should be a condom model.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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