There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
