I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
