Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
