well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
