3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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