Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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