Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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