Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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