I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
