It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
