Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
