Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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