Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Randomize
