He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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