Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
