all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
