We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
