I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
