i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
