i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
