This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
