Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
