So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
