I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
