I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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