one two three fourrrrnication!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
