They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
