I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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