was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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