"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do vagina's smell?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
