its not stalking. its research.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
