Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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