Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize