Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
