who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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