I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We just shotgunned beers for America
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
