i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
