Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize