Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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