I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
