guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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