the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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