Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Farmville is her only friend.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
