Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
