i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
