This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
