My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I booty called her while she was in labor.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
