I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it glows. i had to have it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
