yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
