The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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