I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
