"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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