I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
