with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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