I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
