Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
