Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
