Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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