another moral hangover. fuck.
no you cant smoke seaweed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
