Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Alive.
So much puke
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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