'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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